How to know how beautiful you are; and what to tell your child regarding beauty.

What is real beauty;The price we pay for misunderstanding beauty. Misunderstanding beauty is misunderstanding life.
Parents ingrain into the child a completely emotionally unhealthy notion of what is beauty and as a result even as adults we pay a big emotional price for understanding ( ingrained in the brain) that the individual person thinks he is the most handsome while as an adult he knows (through the mind) that he is not handsome.

Beauty is a concept that is defined by society, culture, one's own upbringing, one's circumstances and even a heard mentality. This concept of beauty can even be shaped by one's own personal experiences. In the 70's I was living and working in New Delhi. There is this day that is vividly etched in my memory even today. The company staff were having a picnic at the Delhi zoo. It was late afternoon and some of us were resting under a tree. I was reading a book. A colleague was sleeping next to me. Suddenly I noticed a bee flew over my head and landed on the lips of this girl. I dropped the book and swiped the bee dead. Accidentally two of my fingers landed in her mouth between her teeth and her gums. She woke up and thought that I was trying to get fresh with her. When she saw what had happened she thanked me and went back to sleep. Believe me this touching of her gums and this brief sensation of my fingers in her sensual mouth is still fresh. How can I say it was a far, far better pleasure than my first kiss. Till then I had not thought much about girls or their physical attraction or even beauty. Having experienced this heavenly bliss my concept of beauty took hold right away. For me her lips were the most beautiful creation of Mother Nature. It did not matter that she smoked and that her breath was horrible. It did not matter that her teeth were stained. All that mattered was this perfect shape of her divinely beautiful lips which I am sure were designed by MN herself.(By the way every single pair of lips and for that matter every color and shape of the face is created by MN herself and is therefore perfect). I actually wrote a 20 page poem on the grace and beauty of her lips. When I look at her lips (mostly in my head) unlike most people I don't see two blobs of flesh to be tasted, licked or sucked for pleasure. I see the mountains and valleys. The crevices as streams running down rounded succulent cliffs. Even her bad breath is a gentle breeze that rises from the depths of her lungs to mingle with mine. Her yellowish teeth are the color of heaven. (Funny how the same color in other places like gold is so divine. The beauty of color is in our heads.)

The point of all this personal stuff is that beauty is often defined by one's own experiences. Look into your own past and reexamine the experiences that shaped your concept of beauty. Many times we define beauty through our very narrow experience. Mostly we let society, our culture and even the herd decide for us the concept of what is beautiful. And for this we pay dearly in terms of personal happiness and it even affects our health. Our quality of life is affected mostly negatively because of our not understanding the true nature of beauty. Getting beauty right is as important as knowing how to drive or how to live. Also you must not tell your child that he is the most beautiful. Because if for some reason when she grows up and begins to realize that she is not beautiful she will always spend a fortune trying to look beautiful and will still not feel beautiful. Cultivate the whole package of real beauty in your child. Real beauty consists of her whole personality. Cultivate the inner beauty by making her brain free of all emotional garbage.

Was I crazy to get enthralled by this one freak accident. On the surface it does appear so. In actual reality every life is unique, every person is a personal creation of MN. Every experience is meant to be experienced fully as a divine gift of MN. Every face is meant to be admired and respectfully enjoyed for its ultimate beauty. I only wish if every one would fall in such awe and trance of another persons looks. I wish each partner (including you and your partner) would know and experience the reality that you are the very embodiment of Gd's ultimate expression of his divine creation. What my friends lips are for me I wish there is some part of your partner that is to you. It need not be physical attraction. Anything that will create the mythical real eternal love. It can be anything about her that springs forth this divinely sumptuous experience of eternity, of eternal love. Every face, every contour of one's looks is an original master piece of the forces of MN. Every face is a manifestation of Gd's very own expression of beauty. Each one of us is her masterpiece, each one an original art. MN is as proud of your looks as she is of mine. In her scheme of things nothing is beautiful or ugly. It just is. This is Gd's code for beauty that every being is as beautiful as the next. Each face is her ultimate creation. If you get this you get enough to know life itself.

Especially in children the parents must ingrain a holistic concept of beauty. And no one must be told that she/he is the best and/or the most beautiful. They must be told that beauty is a mixture of inner and outer character and personality/mentality and that the physical part is very fine and unique for each and every one and that it hardly counts.

THIS IGNORANCE OF BEAUTY IS A REAL DESTRUCTIVE FORCE. IT DESTROYS LIVES. IT CREATES DIVORCES AND MISERY. IT EVEN AFFECTS THE LIVES OF CHILDREN. IT NEED NOT BE THIS WAY. WE MUST SET UP A BEAUTY COMMISSION FOR DEFINING BEAUTY AND TAKING STEPS TO MAKE PEOPLE TAKE STEPS TO ENSURE THE RIGHT CONCEPT OF BEAUTY IN OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS.