My Spritual Experience.

I grew up as a Muslim in India. However I went to the famous Catholic boarding school, La Martiniere College in Lucknow. Every Sunday we had a choice to play or go to Sunday Bible School. I went to the Bible school. It was very enlightening to find that many many of the stories and themes were the same in Christianity and Islam. I grew up in a very liberal household where my father was an agnostic and my grandfather was an atheist. However I being born in Islam felt that one has to take the whole package. So I stuck to Islam. Then I came across a very interesting tradition of Islam where the Prophet Mohammad says that if you need to go to China to gain knowledge then go to China. This to me indicated that Mohammad is saying that there is knowledge beyond the Koran. Also there is a passage in the Koran where we learn that Gd sent Prophets to every people. So I realized that Prophets of other religions were also Gd's prophets. So I started taking the teachings of Krishna and the Bible as gosple truths too.
While living in Lucknow I had this Hindu friend who would take me to this Hindu Temple complex. I would stand outside and he would go in and pray. One day while standing there between temples I noticed a strange feeling of reverence towards a statue of Durga Mata. I went closer and I looked at her. I felt as if her hand was waving at me. (It is a kind of a blessing). Then I heard a voice, the most beautiful soothing voice I ever heard in my life saying whether I wanted a lottery and I said no. Then she said do I want knowledge. I said yes. She said go and she will give me knowledge in psychology! I couldn't believe what happened. With my friend and I went back and after dropping him off I came back. The experience happened again and again for a few days and then it stopped. To this day I am convinced that this actually happened. Satiya Jeet Ray the famous Indian film producer who won an Oscar had similar experience with the same goddess.

I was already researching how the mind works on my own and it was very frustrating because I was getting nowhere with my quest. After this experience my mind lightened up and I realized what if this question is too eternal for our limited human brains? Instead of seeking eternal/ultimate answers why not seek the best possible answers. Soon I was armed with another more realistic question, 'Why the mind works the way it does? The answers to this question started piling up. I ended up finding that schizophrenia starts in the fetus stage. I was able to publish a paper in the Bombay Psychology Journal. I was over a year ahead of similar papers in the West.

I found that conscious negative/painful experiences in the fetus stage can make the person prone to schizophrenia. Just as a child exposed to pain becomes neurotic a fetus exposed to pain becomes prone to psychosis. One insight led to another and I realized that if negative experiences can cause long lasting affects then positive experiences must also have long lasting affects. I was lucky or perhaps blessed by Durga Mata to look at both negative and positive womb life affects. Even today medicine is mostly about curing diseases; how about medicine being about making normal human beings super human, physically and emotionally. I soon published another paper, 'Human Nature conceived in the womb'. I developed concepts like 'womb-conditioning' and 'womb-reality'. In fact I strongly suspect that the Id is a direct result of 'womb-conditioning'. I also quantified the mind. Thus every human action physical and mental is quantified. Even emotions like love and hate are quantified. War and peace are quantified. One can live one's life by numbers! I figured out wisdom and I can define the self within the paradigm of science.

Was it my imagination or did she really bless me? You decide.