How the lessons of my life are going to change the factors of emotional intelligence education.
I have gained many new insights that are universal lessons which will take the mind sciences not only to a new level and also to the right level.
I grew up with a lot of emotional baggage and as a result I was a distorted version of my real self. My life was miserable with many many emotional holes, but I choose to turn myself into a 'laboratory rat' and I said to myself that in all this mess I will find, know, understand and become myself; and as I succeeded I will show others how to get out of their emotional holes. To day what I am is my true me, created by yours truly; and trust me if I can do it almost all others can.
As a child I was neglected by my parents. They were too busy trying to reshape each other. When they couldn't succeed they ended up with constant fights. They put me in the care of a neurotic wet nurse. In fact my life was a constant barrage of physical and emotional slaps at my tiny self image. To escape my miserable life I found my escape in thinking that this was a nightmare and that the real me was an all powerful entity. In effect I went back to feeling omnipotent and omnipresent as I felt in the womb. Just as a dethroned king still feels like a king. In fact I remember when I was 9 years old and I used to read about people like Indra Gandhi I used to say to myself and feel she is nothing compared to what I am and will be. While in the presence of company I would feel shy, nervous and extremely uncomfortable.
Then I got a lucky break when I overheard being called a schizophrenic. I was very upset but what this did was really a blessing. My focus was on my miserable life and on my whole self as defective and I thought that as I was the way I was there was nothing I or anyone else could do to get me out of my tortured life. Now my focus shifted to one specific defect in me. { Lesson #1 trace your emotional or other problem to its original cause and don't blame the cause on your whole self }. As I learned that this was a disease I thought that there must be a cure for it. Without telling anyone I started to find out all I could about schizophrenia. I was very disappointed as the the knowledge in the books was very confusing and its definitions were very fuzzy. So I was reading and reading and reading all I could about the cause and how to get rid of it. I noticed that the more my focus shifted from my whole self being defective and even that I had schizophrenia to trying to find out what and how I have it; I realized that I was not feeling that bad any more especially about my whole self. My miserable life became less miserable. { Lesson #2 your mind instead of worrying about your emotional holes and thus generating negative emotions that create emotional and physical problems of its own like tiredness, sadness, frustrations etc. starts to focus away from the negative worries; on to the positive thus pulling the plug on the mind generated hurtful emotions and make the creative juices of researching, cross referencing, analyzing etc make the mind feel rested and proud.} So early on I realized that researching schizophrenia was my one way ticket to a happier life! So I said to myself I have found a hobby that is very fulfilling and the more I read the more confident I became that one day I will find a solution and at least this research is relaxing my mind and making me happy in the meantime and above that it took me away from worrying about my emotional holes.
Lesson #3 learn to separate your self from your brain. Find out where your feelings are originating from. From your brain, your mind or your true self. The brain is like the small child, the teenager, the adult and or the master. The mind is the manager. The manager has access to reality while the child, the teenager and to some extent the adult lives in his own dream world. Wake up to the fact that your mind can reflect upon reflecting on its own reflections many times over as an observer. It can also reflect on its own brain as an observer. So learn to identify your self with your mind and place your brain under the observation of your self. Learn to find out objectively if your brain is still living in a past long gone and patterned false reality. Put this reality about your brain in contextual mindfulness and clean up your brain's emotional baggage. Consider your self as your mind and gradually as your true self becomes more and more free your true self will gradually become in charge automatically. Thus you will learn to use your mind to clean up and fix your brain, the source of all your emotionally miserable life.
So to escape my miserable life I became a serial researcher! Lesson #4 instead of your mind focused on the emotional holes find a hobby, any hobby to relax and shift your focus from negative to positive. I remember that I used to go to the USIS library when ever I had a chance. Then I started going to the flea market and I would buy old books by the kilo. Soon my part of my palace became full of books every where, even my bed had books all over. Then I learn't to exchange two kilos of my read books for one kilo of unread books. In the late 70's I realized that as I cannot find out where my schizophrenia came from let me try and track down some of its attributes. So I asked myself where does my crazy self importance come from. In the meantime I learned from researching my early life that I was taken out of the womb after just 8 months. So I started fantasizing about my womb life. Suddenly everything came together and one insight led to another and I realized that my omnipotent self importance came from my womb experience of constant love, warmth and security. It was these constant experiences of extreme security, love and comfort that made me feel all this self importance and when after birth I was exposed to pain I went back to the earlier memories. I realized that I did not even have schizophrenia! It was my painful post natal life that created my tiny twisted scared self.
One of the biggest lessons of my life is that there is indeed a silver lining to every dark cloud. People with my mentally twisted emotions who have to go through a torturous life day in and day out either scum to their predicament and fall into a limited social life, or become dependent on drugs. In fact modern day psychiatry has only drugs as a cure. Others continue to live a life in fantasy what they lack in their real life. Some commit suicide. In fact I thought of suicide many times but then I thought of the consequences on my family, especially my siblings. But I realized that the authoritative books on psychology and intelligence, brain and mind had many things wrong. At least there were many phenomena that were described in a fuzzy manner. I realized that these concepts were developed by experts who had researched emotional problems from the out side in, it is like an expert who writes a book on swimming without having stepped into the water. What do they know about how the mind feels, they have no first hand experience. So I said let me study my emotions from the inside out and observe my brain, my mind, my emotions, my relationships my whole life... from the inside out and also incorporate whatever knowledge there is on my condition from the text books. So I said to my self that I will be the first guy in the world to construct new knowledge with combining knowledge from the first hand experiences of my emotional holes and the accredited knowledge that the experts have put together on this subject. {Now I know others like Freud, Carl Jung, Pascal, St. Augustine, and many many others have gone the same route, they had their own first hand experiences of their emotional holes.} So I turned my dark clouds, my emotional holes into my biggest silver cloud. My chance to research my own neurotic mind. Not only were my observations giving me insights they were lifting my brain and mind to a healthier self. I was feeling more and more confident and comfortable with myself. My dark cloud actually had many silver linings, not was it only a chance to gain new insights into my condition, it was also a chance to know, understand and make the generic human condition less fuzzy and thus expand the frontiers of science in many fields!
Soon I realized that the problem of me being nervous was compounded because society at large made it worse. Instead of treating a shy, nervous and depressed person with compassion they jump on the slightest chance to show off their superiority. Thus I realized one very big lesson: The so called normal society is actually sub normal. So I said it is my duty to wake up the world to their real sub normal standards. And I said now that I have crafted a normal brain and mind for my self let me continue and keep going on to create a super normal me. But the more I studied my mind and cross referenced it with the accredited knowledge available through fiction, science, religion, philosophy, mythology I found that in nature the super mature is the potential that every physically normal human being is blessed with. Thus by the standards of mother nature the so called self master, the wise being, the holy soul and the emotionally super mature person are really normal. The world need not be sub-normal; especially if a person through his own struggle can climb out of sever emotional ditches then imagine healthy and confident masses having just to climb out of their trophy self images!
My biggest surprise lesson I learned was that all this talk of wisdom being undefinable was due to this obsession of trying to define wisdom as wisdom. Once I was able to define wisdom as a fragrance everything else about wisdom fell into place. It also became clear why it was almost impossible to define wisdom as wisdom; because wisdom being a fragrance it is hard to define. But wisdom is real and it can be cultivated.
The common fragrances originate in flowers so the quality of the fragrance depends on the physical quality of the flower, its actual genes and nature that it is made of and what kind of nurturing it gets. Fragrance always originates from a physical entity so wisdom being a fragrance must also originate from a physical entity. As wisdom is a part of consciousness where consciousness is a process of the brain thus wisdom too is a process that springs from the brain. It is clear that wisdom comes from the highest quality brain. Thus the biggest lesson is that wisdom education is brain education; the one way ticket to a super mature society which actually in the eyes of mother nature is the sterling standard of normalcy.
It is very clear that wisdom is an emotion that comes from a state of being, a state of becoming. Which means the following is one of my most intriguing lessons: It is not about who you are it is about what you are! Because what you are determines who you are! More specifically it is what your brain is physically made of that determines the quality of your consciousness which at the highest stage is wisdom. And it is amazing that one of the few sages who understood this very clearly was Jesus. No wonder he offered the body of Christ {What he had become} to his disciples! He is clearly saying it is not about his message it is about his body as his message springs from his body! His body is the message. So if you want to improve your bottom line improve your message by improving your body. Which boils down to improving your brain.
There is unfortunately a massive prejudice against the brain being defective. If our brain is defective we consider our whole self as defective. The truth of the matter is that the real you is not defective. It is just blocked by your phony self image. It is the self image and not the real you that is defective. And this self image is a process that can be changed. So use your mind to focus on changing the brain to make you free from the bonds of the self image and become the real you. Your brain is just another part of your whole being, an organ that you can not only learn to control but actually change, improve and perfect.
THE BIGGEST LESSON I LEARN'T IS THAT ALL PHYSICALLY HEALTHY BRAINS CAN BE NURTURED INTO BECOMING WISE. THE EASIEST WAY IS THROUGH NURTURING THE BRAIN FROM AT LEAST BIRTH ONWARDS AND FOR THOSE WITH FIXED SELF IMAGES WE CAN USE Self Image Therapy.
WE CAN ALSO CREATE A WHOLE NEW SUBJECT THAT TEACHES WISDOM!
One of the few sages who understood that the self image is the root of all our emotional problems was the Buddha. No wonder he stressed a zero self image. Another group that stresses the evils of the self image are the Sufis. And of course the Master of all Masters was Jesus!
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